The Usual Suspects...

I once got an email from a friend. It was one of those random joke emails that clutter all of our inboxes. This particular chain included a collection of Barbie doll typologies that had been altered into stereotypes that were meant to be moderately offensive, and just as moderately funny. Career Barbie and Malibu Barbie had been replaced with Lesbian Barbie and HBIC Barbie (and if you're unfamiliar with this reference, you obviously don't Love New York...). 

Okay, so moderately funny was probably a gross overstatement. But it got me to thinking. There are definite typologies among my students, and they remain relatively constant. And by this time in the semester, with the Visitors gone, the regular crew in each class becomes more recognizable.

There is a definite strata to the crowd. Take the front row, for example. There's always a "Tries Too Hard" Barbie. If you teach, you know the type. First to shoot the hand in the air. Offers comments rather than questions--which are sometimes (but not always) on topic. Always sincere, but talks just for the recognition. In my classes, TTHB never quite gets that people aren't really laughing with her.

Next to her, you'll likely find "Fights for One Point" Barbie. This is the student that will not only argue with you over half a point, but is usually cleverly disguised as "Blow the Curve" Barbie. She's the close cousin of "Overachiever" Ken. When they're not dickering over one or two points, you can easily recognize them by the cool articles they've found that are related to lecture they carry in their backpacks.

Move one row back, you might catch a glimpse of "Hypochondriac" Barbie. If the Kleenex and the Purell don't give her away, it's probably because she's not there, recouperating at home from her latest ailment that has kept her from turning in her homework on time. But don't fear. If you're lucky, her seat will be kept warm by "Tool Time" Ken, who proudly proclaims on his paper that his name is John "The Shizzle" Doe. And yes, names have been changed to protect the ignorant.

The dark recess of the back row is where the real fun begins. Wedged between "Texting her Boyfriend" Barbie and "Asleep and Drooling" Ken is my personal favorite pair. This, of course, would be "Giggling" Barbie, and her companion, "Booty Call" Ken. Hiding in the back, they're unaware that their primitive and often bizarre mating rituals are being observed by virtually everyone in the room. And while he comes into the room empty handed, BCK will most likely leave with her number.

Once in a while, someone comes along who surprises me. But generally the crowd is the same. The faces may change, but they are variations on a theme that plays out every 20 weeks or so. And who am I to complain. This bunch makes my classes more interesting, and I'm happy to see them each semester. After all--they are coming to class...which is more than I can say for some of their peers.