Three simple steps...

So it's almost midterms again.

This time last year, I was lamenting over my low test scores, particularly in my Intro classes. Don't worry. I'm off that particular soapbox for now. Not that the scores have gotten better, mind you, but we're filing that one in the 'some things never change' category.

Low test scores are like the flu. They both suck and no one wants 'em. But given a few preventative measures, both can be easily avoided.

Every semester, on the first day of class, I give my students three simple tips to healthy grades. First and foremost--and this one seems like a no-brainer--don't skip class! I know, I know. It's a radical idea, but it is one that will exponentially increase your chances of success. Even those Visitors, who show up only for exams, seem to know this fact. Case in point, the conversation I overheard just today between two students, one of which is a Visitor. When asked about how he did on a recent exam, his response was that "I think would have done better if I had gone to class more." At least he learned something from not going to class.

Another easy step? Read, read, read. See my earlier rant about the necessity of buying required textbooks. But it's not enough, I've learned, to require students simply to buy the text. At the end of every semester, I always have a student brag to me how they got more money back than anyone when selling back their book because it had never been used. First off, don't tell me this. I don't want to know. Secondly...really? Doesn't that defeat the purpose? Finally, don't brag about selling back a new book in the same breath that you complain about your grade. That gives me the right to point, laugh, and walk away.

Finally, if you really want to avoid those pesky low test scores, you may want to consider sleeping at home, not in the back of my classroom. Crazy as it sounds, it's not enough to simply be a butt in the chair. Your chances of taking in the information increase exponentially if you are conscious. I am not a subliminal learning tape, and you will not learn the material through osmosis. I once had a student argue that she should have passed the test because she was in every class. And I told her I knew she was there. I could hear her snoring all the way in the front of the room every day.

By following these few basic steps, that 63.5 would nothing more than an ideal temperature on a sunny autumn day. So I tell students this on day one. I'm sure they hear me. I just don't think they listen.

Once again: Here's the water. Here's the horse. Don't even think about leading it there.