If all else fails, run...for office!

Last night I happened to be flipping channels and landed upon a political debate between two unlikely--and at least one reluctant--national celebrities. Chris Coons (D) and Christine O'Donnell (R/TP) were slugging it out on CNN, pleading their cases on a national stage about who would make the better Senator of the great state of Delaware.

After watching the debate from front to back, I know very little about what either candidate is actually going to do for Delawarians if he or she is elected. I do know quite a bit about their opinions of each other and just how each candidate's opponent will unleash a either a plague of Draconian reproductive restrictions or rampant tax & spend policies on the unsuspecting public. I know who's not a witch, and who's not a bearded Marxist, and my money's on Kristen Wiig for the three-peat in the SNL spot you know is just over the horizon.

None of this surprises me, mind you, given the bloodsport that is politics in my home state. But there was one part of the debate that struck a resonant chord with me, and scared me to death. Not because I expect O'Donnell to get elected. Not being a Delawarian myself, beyond the comedy-factor, this election means very little to me. But something Ms. O'Donnell said--or rather didn't say--during the course of this debate reminded me of my students.

Check out this clip, courtesy of the Huffington Post:

I'm familiar with that look. I see it on my students' faces every time I give an exam. That look that says, "Oh shit. She expects me to know something."

I'm also familiar with her initial response. "Gimme gimme gimme, so I can regurgitate it and sound like I know what I'm talking about." Kudos to Nancy Karibjanian for not giving her what she wanted. And the cop-out at the end may as well be "I'll do some extra credit."

Finally, there's the dance--an elaborate cross of grasping at straws and pulling information out of the air, akin to some arcane ritual dance. Sometimes this results in a nugget of information that could get you a pity-point or two, but the substance of the issue?

"I'll put it up on my website. I promise you."

Now anyone following this particular political case--or any political case--may not be surprised by any of these non-answers or political spin. But what I saw last night highlights a trend I'm seeing more and more in the classroom.

Christine O'Donnell could have been any one of my students on test day. I'm always alarmed when students are asked provide proof of subject mastery and demand that I "give them a hint." Not ask. Demand. And when I don't give them what they want, the resulting answers would make any politician proud.

At the risk of sounding like my grandfather after a few too many, I'm a little scared that the students I'm teaching now are the Christine O'Donnells of the future. Sure, there are some good ones, as I've said many times. But the trend toward the trifecta of dumbfounded-demanding-dancers is making retirement in Manitoba an appealing option.

Subject mastery. Right. Most days, I'd settle for complete sentences. But hey. If it doesn't work out in my class, there's always the U.S. Congress.