What's in a name, anyway?

It's now week twelve of the semester. At this point, the end is closer than the start, "panic mode" is just around the corner, and students have begun to turn every class into a math class, calculating that crucial ratio between the points they've earned and the points that are left, in a desperate effort to determine the magic number they need to get an A, a B, or simply to survive the course.

I'd love to help them with that. I really would. But seeing that I can barely balance a checkbook, I don't think they'd want my help anyway.

For those--like me--who are either unwilling or unable to do the computations for themselves, this is the time of year where they fill my email box fills with requests for meetings, or questions about assignments. And while I'm not the best with names myself, I'm always amused at who my students THINK I am.

Now I'm hardly one to throw stones in this regard. After all, my ineptitude with names is  the stuff of Rate My Professor lore. As one of my former students wrote, "she'll never get your name right, but she'll always mispronounce it with a smile."

That student should count herself lucky. I ALWAYS remember the bad ones...

Now in my own defense, learning names when you teach a full load is a Herculean undertaking. Fifty-plus students times four classes, and they're lucky I know my OWN name. And I know who most of them are by the end of the semester. Unfortunately that's when everyone leaves, and the cycle begins anew.

Students, however, have it easy. Even those with a full load have six, perhaps seven names to learn. You'd think given those odds, by the middle of the semester, they'd get those names straight.

You'd be wrong.

I've long since given up trying to correct people. After all, I'd rather have them in class to get my name wrong, than correctly identifying me from afar. And most people at least make an effort. Some students even come close. Others get good at faking it, relying on titles alone.

When talking about this with a friend of mine--one NOT in academia, I might add--she shook her head. "Can't they just look you up on the Internet rather than risk becoming a topic for your blog?"

I shrugged and agreed. But even that's not always foolproof, as a colleague of mine learned earlier this semester.

The course listings at our school are not always updated regularly. Not surprising, given that our state could give Greece a run for its money--no pun intended. And while the professors of record are usually updated at some point, every once in a while a generic listing of "staff" is overlooked. 

Sure enough, this colleague received an email addressed to Dr. Staff. This would have been understandable, too, if her name wasn't in her email address.

So students, take the "A" for effort. It may be the only one you see...