I received an email from a dear friend this morning. Knowing I was administering my last final today, he wished me well, stating that he hoped the final I was giving would be successful...or would, at least, be entertaining to him.
Well, my friend, this one's for you.
So for the last two weeks of class, I announced the date, time and location of the final exam, for all of my sections. That I repeated myself at the start of every class actually became something of a joke in most of the sections. And to be honest, these were NOT the people I needed to remind ad nauseum of where and when they needed to be ready to roll for the exam.
The reason for my slightly anal-retentive concern was twofold. First, for at least two of the classes, the scheduled exam time was an hour earlier than our normal class meeting time. Were it up to me, this would not be the case, but I, like others, am at the mercy of the University when it comes to exam schedules. And second, this is not my first time at this particular rodeo. Someone ALWAYS comes late. But I decided that this was going to be the year. The year that everyone followed directions. The year that no one showed up as I was turning off the lights with a sob story and a desperate look in their eyes.
I'm still waiting for that pony, by the way.
In order to make this dream a reality, I tried to cover all the bases. In addition to the daily reminders, I also posted announcements on the course website. The date and time were in bold red letters, screaming out from the page every time a student bothered to log in. And if that wasn't enough, a copy of the announcement was sent to all students in the course via email.
Now I KNOW the Visitors are handy with the email. I refer you to my earlier blog entry for proof.
Until today, I was optimistic. Besides the normal cavalcade of creative excuses (see my LAST entry), no one had showed up late. In fact, things started off smooth today, and I actually remember thinking how nice it was going to be to disappoint my friend.
Maybe that was my problem. After all, pride goeth before the fall, and karma is a spiteful bitch.
The exam period runs for an hour and a half. Given the structure of the exam, most students finish in well under half that time. Even those who diligently check and recheck their answers, and those who sit in a puddle of sweat praying for some sort of divine educational intervention tend to clear out within an hour. Today, with 25 minutes to go, there was one of each left in the room.
Trusting that these two were wrapped up in their exams, I stepped out briefly to use the restroom. As I left, I noticed two students I recognized from the class waiting quietly in the hall. They politely said hello (but nothing else at that time) as I passed. I figured that they were waiting on one of the stragglers.
I was wrong.
When they were still there after I returned, I asked if there was anything else I could do for them. They looked at each other, and then just as politely asked if it was too late to take the exam.
In case you were wondering, yes. They were Visitors. In fact, one of them was not only a Visitor, but a Repeater, having failed this class last semester, placing him squarely in the "Should Have Known Better" category. Regardless, I reminded them--sternly, and loudly--that this was precisely why it was important to show up to class once in a while. Without batting an eye, the Repeater looked at me and said that he just assumed the exam would be at the same time as class. And while subtler than a big scarlet "V" on his tee-shirt, this answer told me all I needed to know about the last time he had attended class, checked the internet, or hell, even read his email. At least Visitor #2, while equally clueless, tried to stammer out a coherent excuse before again asking if he could still take the test.
Against my better judgement, I caved. I knew they realized there was still technically time left, and that there were still two students taking the exam. And if past experience has taught me nothing else, even students who are willfully negligent about staying informed can find the initiative to complain to my boss. Covering my bases, I told them that they could still take the final on the condition that when the scheduled time to take the exam was up--a time, mind you, that was only 20 minutes away at this point--I was kicking them out the door.
I set them in the first row and gave them the test materials. As it turns out, I didn't need to worry about kicking them out at the end of the period. I barely had time to turn around before Visitor #2 was handing me his "completed" exam. Repeater was not that far behind. Ironically, they both finished before the last two stragglers in the room.
Well, my friend, this one's for you.
So for the last two weeks of class, I announced the date, time and location of the final exam, for all of my sections. That I repeated myself at the start of every class actually became something of a joke in most of the sections. And to be honest, these were NOT the people I needed to remind ad nauseum of where and when they needed to be ready to roll for the exam.
The reason for my slightly anal-retentive concern was twofold. First, for at least two of the classes, the scheduled exam time was an hour earlier than our normal class meeting time. Were it up to me, this would not be the case, but I, like others, am at the mercy of the University when it comes to exam schedules. And second, this is not my first time at this particular rodeo. Someone ALWAYS comes late. But I decided that this was going to be the year. The year that everyone followed directions. The year that no one showed up as I was turning off the lights with a sob story and a desperate look in their eyes.
I'm still waiting for that pony, by the way.
In order to make this dream a reality, I tried to cover all the bases. In addition to the daily reminders, I also posted announcements on the course website. The date and time were in bold red letters, screaming out from the page every time a student bothered to log in. And if that wasn't enough, a copy of the announcement was sent to all students in the course via email.
Now I KNOW the Visitors are handy with the email. I refer you to my earlier blog entry for proof.
Until today, I was optimistic. Besides the normal cavalcade of creative excuses (see my LAST entry), no one had showed up late. In fact, things started off smooth today, and I actually remember thinking how nice it was going to be to disappoint my friend.
Maybe that was my problem. After all, pride goeth before the fall, and karma is a spiteful bitch.
The exam period runs for an hour and a half. Given the structure of the exam, most students finish in well under half that time. Even those who diligently check and recheck their answers, and those who sit in a puddle of sweat praying for some sort of divine educational intervention tend to clear out within an hour. Today, with 25 minutes to go, there was one of each left in the room.
Trusting that these two were wrapped up in their exams, I stepped out briefly to use the restroom. As I left, I noticed two students I recognized from the class waiting quietly in the hall. They politely said hello (but nothing else at that time) as I passed. I figured that they were waiting on one of the stragglers.
I was wrong.
When they were still there after I returned, I asked if there was anything else I could do for them. They looked at each other, and then just as politely asked if it was too late to take the exam.
In case you were wondering, yes. They were Visitors. In fact, one of them was not only a Visitor, but a Repeater, having failed this class last semester, placing him squarely in the "Should Have Known Better" category. Regardless, I reminded them--sternly, and loudly--that this was precisely why it was important to show up to class once in a while. Without batting an eye, the Repeater looked at me and said that he just assumed the exam would be at the same time as class. And while subtler than a big scarlet "V" on his tee-shirt, this answer told me all I needed to know about the last time he had attended class, checked the internet, or hell, even read his email. At least Visitor #2, while equally clueless, tried to stammer out a coherent excuse before again asking if he could still take the test.
Against my better judgement, I caved. I knew they realized there was still technically time left, and that there were still two students taking the exam. And if past experience has taught me nothing else, even students who are willfully negligent about staying informed can find the initiative to complain to my boss. Covering my bases, I told them that they could still take the final on the condition that when the scheduled time to take the exam was up--a time, mind you, that was only 20 minutes away at this point--I was kicking them out the door.
I set them in the first row and gave them the test materials. As it turns out, I didn't need to worry about kicking them out at the end of the period. I barely had time to turn around before Visitor #2 was handing me his "completed" exam. Repeater was not that far behind. Ironically, they both finished before the last two stragglers in the room.
As Repeater was leaving, I noticed that he had hadn't actually completed the exam. He had the nerve to give me the stinkeye when I asked him to fill in the missing responses.
Now I don't want praise, and I've long since stopped caring about my online reviews. But I don't think common courtesy is too much to ask.
I'd love to provide a clever denouement to this story. Or some heartwarming last minute revelation, as the Visitors realize the error of their ways. But honestly, I'm spent, and looking forward to a few well-deserved months of rest.
However, fear not, gentle readers, because if I've learned anything from the last few years, it's that Visitors are consistent. So M, my dear friend, just know this--as long as I have a job, you'll be entertained...
Now I don't want praise, and I've long since stopped caring about my online reviews. But I don't think common courtesy is too much to ask.
I'd love to provide a clever denouement to this story. Or some heartwarming last minute revelation, as the Visitors realize the error of their ways. But honestly, I'm spent, and looking forward to a few well-deserved months of rest.
However, fear not, gentle readers, because if I've learned anything from the last few years, it's that Visitors are consistent. So M, my dear friend, just know this--as long as I have a job, you'll be entertained...
"Are you not entertained?" -- Gladiator.
ReplyDeleteYes, ma'am. I am entertained.
M